Tuesday, February 22, 2022

The other side of the coin.

We never had a chance to speak our side. We always just chose to be quiet and umiwas. But I really want to put an end to this strange situation. 

I was engaged when I went to Singapore because I was confused if I should get married on Christmas that same year. Then I had a boyfriend. Arnel was there on my first day in Singapore. Sabi daw ni Arczi sa kanya, "Wag na yan boy. Di ka uubra diyan."

We had our own lives. I dont know his friends. I dont know anyone. I just see them often because they are my brothers friends, kung san ako nakikitira. 

My then boyfriend had a friend, he was single and I wanted to pair him with the prettiest single girl I saw in the group. It was Lucy. I tried to befriend her. She ignored me so many times. I couldn't get her. 

Then I broke up with this guy and Arnel came into the scene. Well, he was just there all the time because of my brother. After 6 months of being single, we went on a date. 

Then we became a thing. Then Lucy's email scandal about having sex with a married guy. That's the only chance I learned who this girl was. Oh my.  Poor girl. I read most of it and even reached the middle part. I was so shocked that Arnel was in that email too. So, I asked Arnel the real score. Because if he has something going on with Lucy, then why should I stay?

 Arnel said:

"Hindi ko siya kelan man ginusto. Yung mga tao na naka paligid samin ang nag papares samin. At hindi ko naman gagawin ang isang bagay sa isang babae kung ayaw niya. Lasing lang ako at hanggang 1st base lang dahil hindi ko nga siya gusto. Siya ang lumapit sakin. Kung gusto ko siya, tutuluyan ko siya..Gawa lang ng alcohol yun."

That's the only time I was able to put the puzzle together...kaya pala ayaw sakin ni Lucy, gusto niya si Arnel. Oh God. I'm sorry for ruining your dreams and breaking your heart early on when we were not even introduced. I chose not to stay in that group because I just don't like being in groups. And I hate mabababaw na relationships. 

The scandal put all the attention on Lucy...nakakaawa daw kaya protektahan kesyo baka ma depress. Kukupkupin daw ni Aaron. Aaron was housemates with Arnel. I just kept my cool, umiwas, because, what else can you do when your boyfriend is staying in the same house of a homewrecker that is attracted to your boyfriend? Wala. You just keep quiet and stay away. 

But it didn't end there. Weddings that I have to attend. And she was there. We were never introduced. We were never friends. So what's the big deal? I dont get it. Why is it ok not to say hi to other strangers in a wedding and they make a big deal if I ignore Lucy? I didn't know her, I just know her character  from the email, her scandal.

It didn't end there. Lucy got married. I didn't receive an invitation. I'm not even sure up to now if we were invited. Who didn't give the invite? Anong kelangan ingatan? Or gusto lang ng lahat na may issue? Are they happy with the situation? Ano bang pede kong gawin? I don't get it.  

People around us just keeps making an issue about everything that's Lucy and Arnel. They enjoy it. I don't. Thats why I want to put an end to this. Just recently I found out how Papang rejects all presents from Lucy and reminds Mamang to stay away from Lucy. He respects Arnel. He respects me. He respects our family. He always reminds Arnel: "Ingatan mo ang pamilya mo, umiwas ka nalang."

Lucy still gives a lot of presents to Arnel's family. And I don't have an issue with that. Why should I? If you, the husband allows it? They were friends before I came and they love Lucy.

Last sunday, we attended a wedding again. I was so excited because she was there. Another opportunity to be introduced to her. But then, the groom decided to put us on separate tables even if there were only 4 Adamsonians attended the wedding. Oh, the universe. The people around us making an issue again. Why? I dont get it. 

I didn't want the party to end without them talking to each other. I put myself on the shoes of the groom. You only get married once, if I were him, I'd want all my college friends to be in one photo. So, i told the our table to go infront  with the groom and the bride with the other half of the Adamsonian table. 

Seeing them together made me so kilig. Not only for Arnel, but also for Lucy and all the friends. I couldn't control my happiness so I posted a photo of Arnel and Lucy together with a heart. A gift to the universe for making an issue out of all of this for years! They are not even a couple before. He was just drunk and she wanted to stay beside him that night, he said.

Then they started making an issue again.
 It's just like a fan posting a photo of past love team: Johnlloyd & Bea. What's the big deal? I don't even know you, like I don't know John and Bea. 

Here we go again...But I am not letting this pass now. I tried to add you in FB, you rejected me again.  Why don't you want to be friends with me up to now? Ano bang pede kong gawin sayo? 

To the husband, I was not brought up to be a homewrecker. I don't have issues with your wife. I don't even know her up to now.  For Lucy, the girl in the picture that I don't know, it wasn't my intention to hurt you. If ever you panicked and called  the attention of Arnel's family, and told them that I should go directly to you, instead of posting anything in the internet, How personal should you want me to approach you? When you have been ignoring me since Yahoo Messenger days back in 2006. Or, are you expecting me to knock in your house? 

I still dont get it. I'm leaving it here. I'm just moving on. Sabi nga ng Papang, "umiwas at ingatan ang pamilya."

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Monday, August 8, 2011

Can't buy me love



Money can't buy will.








"'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love."







Friday, May 13, 2011

I live in a third world country.





 focus.


  







- - - - -


BAYANIHAN




Akala ko sa school ko lang ako makakakita ng litrato ng Bayahinan.





nangyayari pala talaga to sa totoong buhay 







- - -

HARVEST







 
I was actually so scared while taking this picture
kasi biglang tumayo si Tatang.

Akala ko na kung ano.

mag papa picture lang pala ulit! 
ISMAYL!!!

Siguro, mag isa sa buhay ang Mamang ito.
Sapat na sa kanya ang dalawang pirasong isda.



Simpleng buhay ay kay ganda. 

 






- - -




ANG TIPO KONG LALAKI


matipuno


maitim


pamatay tumingin


kagat labi pa! 


----




HATING KAPATID








ang taong hindi marunong magsalita ng sariling wika
ay masahol pa magsalita sa mga bakla."



- - -




HARDWORKING PEOPLE




"Ako po'y karaniwang tao lamang,
kayod kabayo,
yan ang alam."








- - -





Ikaw, saan?


---







Namimiss ko na ang aking mapayat na anino.

at ang mga tanawing tulad nito.





Tigil muna sa mga harutan,



at lalong lalo na ang mga inuming bagay dito.



Habang hinahantay kong maglakad ang anak kong gwapo.

dito lang muna ako sa lungga ko.



Break muna sa pag ha hanap ng masasarap pagkain


at mag papahinga na rin muna
ang  mga nunal ko sa paa.




I MISS GOING AROUND MY THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.







Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Post Partum


Thank you Michelle for the baby bottle!




I would nurse and Tatay would burp the baby. After a couple of weeks of sleepless nights, Tatay suggested we start storing milk so I won't have to be awake every feeding time. Tatay had the best intentions. He said he can nurse and burp the baby all by himself so that Nanay can rest.

We both didn't know that one of the major causes of past partum depression is feeding formula instead of breastmilk. The moment Pablo started sucking the bottle, I cried. While Arnel was so very happy his plan was going to work, I kept crying. I felt so far from Pablo. I hated Arnel for his suggestion. 

That evening we had late dinner, since I wouldn't stop crying. Arnel kept explaining. Five hours later, nahimasmasan na ako. I felt sooo tired.  Now, I'm worried, I won't be able to keep up later to nurse Pablo. I started crying again. I got scared I won't be able to take care of him. All the more I cried.

Thank God for Arnel's patience. Thank God we communicate with each other so well. Thank God we have great love for one another and yun ang nangingibabaw parati.

 And he picked up Pablo, they hugged Nanay..."Family hug na tayo, Tama na yan, kailangan ka ni Pablo mamaya." At ako ay natauhan! *ting*

Balik sa dating anyo, pag harap ko sa salamin, Tadaaaah!!! Isa na talaga akong ganap na Nanay. Natutunan ko ng unahin yung ibang mas mahahalagang bagay kesa sa kaartehan slash ka dramahan ko sa mundo.




---



 Pablo didn't have a nipple confusion.



I was in tears when I took this. 
Aba shempre, hindi pa rin nawala ang presence of mind ko, 
at kailangan documented talaga lahat kahit ang sama sama na ng loob ko.




After several hours of crying...

;-( 




PS.
Tatay's great plan didn't work.
Well, not yet.
Not for now.

We decided we push it a little later 'til I'm ready.


Pag wala na siguro kaming magawa 
dahil kailangang kailangan na.


Thank you Jesus for this luxury to be able to direct feed my baby Pablo.




Wednesday, January 26, 2011